Thursday, December 31, 2009

Welcome 2010!! Happy new year!!

Happy New Year friends!!
This year brought many changes in my life, significant and insignificant, good and bad. But looking back at the good ones, I hope and wish you all that the new year too brings loads & loads of positive changes and tons & tons of fun in our life.
Welcome 2010!! 

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Rebelling monochrome

The flowers glorified the space. Red, yellow blue, pink, they spread in the midst of sweet fragnance they'd gifted the wind. They were soft, tender, the way they should be.

Among them, was this one, standing out even among the thousands. It was just opposite of them, big and bright. It's petals were thick. It stood straight on the thick thorny stem, different and unusual. A wild wind had blown it in, a wild seed, one day, probably to set a change, probably to start a new beginning.

Even among them, it was out of them. Out of thin air, a hand stretched out and plucked it off.
You know, Different is odd.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A welcome change, Painting now

I was complaining about boredom, for past few days. And I pledged to start retaking old forgiven hobbies.

So here’s my first painting on canvas. I’d painted on board before but not on canvas. When I chose the photograph to paint, it didn’t looked promising, to me and my sis. She said why not try some relatively easy one to start. But I’d stick to my decision, as usual.

Actually there’s going to be Santa party in our office on 24th and we are supposed to give gifts to the person whose name appears on the chit we pick. So I decided I would gift this painting.

Actually I was a little doubtful if anyone would really like it. But whatever it is, I am doing what my heart says, not thinking of the consequence.

Sunday, December 20, 2009


She was comfortable in the sleeping bag, until now. The sudden chill forced her out of sleep. The wind was roaring outside and it sounded scary, she forced her eyes shut. The thought of her tent partner came to her mind. She might be awake, her heart raced as she tried to pull her head out of the sleeping bag, holding a number of times with fear. Her heart almost stopped when she found the tent was empty.

She wanted to scream. But she'd wanted to do many things now, first was to run away. But instead she pulled her head inside the bag again. She was shivering, it was freezing cold, but mostly the shivering was by fear. There would there be animals out there, wolf, bears, or...She trembled at the thought... or the ghosts. They say that they attack when you are the weakest mentally, the thought itself crept weakness through her heart. Sleep fled. C'mon buck up Rupa, she tried some encouragement but suddenly… she could sense some sudden changes. The wind seemed to be still like everything stopped, unlike few seconds ago, it also grew more cold. She held her breath. It's your mind playing games, stop it, she fired her mind…when she sensed a sudden movement, unnaturally rapid, near her. She feared even to exhale, still holding breath. Then suddenly, there was another speedy movement, this time not around, but through her. A sudden heavy force zapped through her head from her neck through her ear, and she felt a heavy pain, a momentarily dizziness. What is it ?

Her eyes were now flowing tears but she stayed still like a corpse. The coldness increased discreetly against her body. The chill senses was on and off as if some cold ones were around. She heard a sound, close sound, just inches from her face, a breathing sound to her left... Rather sniffing sound, the chillness now was somehow travelling toward her face. Another sniff to her right, then another... She knew they were close, pretty close and they were many... A whisper, her eyes flashed open and...

P.S : I thought to keep this open ended. I would like to invite my blogger friends to take this story further (those who wish). There are two things here to notice for the sequel -

1. What happens/sees when she open her eyes

2. And another thread, the ‘Whisper’ What could it be ?

So would you like to take the story further ? It would be fun to read the different interpretations. Let your imagination run wild... And don’t forget to comment the links it you write the sequel.

Dangling, was another story I’d write once, which I think was my wildest (or weirdest) imagination. Do check it.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Return – part 6

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
“Piyu, I want to confess…”, he continued in his warm voice. She felt the ice cream melting down her hand, but she let it. He was still looking away.Part 5

“I always troubled you. I was crazy, hot bloodied and angry” 

Angry ? she asked in her mind. “Yes angry” he continued as if he’d heard her. “For me, the world was not right then. They fought every day. (pause) Mom and dad. They fought… when I returned from school. They fought while dining. They fought all night. You were too small to notice”, the sadness in him was prominent.

“I was small. It wasn’t the way I wanted. The other kids were so happy. Their parents always visited the school meetings, functions. All what I got was blatant no. They never saw what I felt, what I was going through. Their fights was heartbreaking, painful for me. It wasn’t like that before. My mom was very calm, somewhat submissive. She endured my father’s casteless ire. But she, I mean your mom, wasn’t that way, she kept fighting.” he paused.

“I lost interest in everything, one after another. Nothing made me happy, but only sad. I lost friends, I lost studies, everything. But there was one thing that made me happy” Then he looked at her, with apologetic eyes. His face was filled with pain.

“Stop. Just forget everything” she wanted to say. But nothing came from her mouth. But probably he read it on her face. “I have to say this” he looked away, again at the distant lakes. “You. I troubled you. Harmed you, insulted you, in home, in public. The cry on your face somehow gave me a odd pleasure. I was successful in implanting the fear in you for lifetime…But piyu, I was young then”. She sighed.

“Till today they fight the same. You don’t know (a pause) I can hear the threats, the accusations every night. Just for you, just for you, they have made peace, but that’s for sometime. They would start again” She remembered the strange aura the home reflected, now she knew why. It wasn’t the truth, it was a fake home, a home built hastily to comfort her to deceive her from reality. Now she knew why she wasn’t welcomed to come back every vacation.

His voice brought her back. “Till you were here, I avenged, by troubling you. But when they sent you to Hostel fearing that I would spoil you, it was then I realised how much I missed you. There was already a void in my life which grew after you left me. I was very lonely. I am very lonely.”

He looked at her. She had a smile on her face. He returned a smile, the same, half-smile, right lips twisted up. But it looked like a happy smile, no more threatening. She laughed over nothing. By now all her fear was gone. His face was now happy. He knew he was forgiven.

He then shoved something at her. It was a doll. “You can give her a name, piyu” She giggled. She raised her index finger with a inquisitive look. He nodded. She tried to hold the torso trying to make sure she doesn't fall her ice cream and twisted the neck. It broke in two pieces. “Hmm…ya it’s fun. There is a reason why you did that to my dolls. Interesting!” They laughed together.

She raised again her finger again. He smiled as he nodded, with an surprising look. She shoved the ice cream to his face. “A sweet revenge…for all those wild things” she chuckled.

“Errr…that strawberry flavour sucks…” he complained wiping his face.

“Ya, you brought this to me. Don’t you know I like chocolate ? ” she chuckled.

“What is the evening plan”. “Why didn’t you call me ?” “I want to know everything, every detail” She had so many questions. He laughed at her sudden burst. “I thought you can only cry”, he chuckled. “Shut up!”

They talked and talked as peace was restored and they forgot that there was once any bitterness between them…She had truly returned, to her dada, to her big brother.


Friday, December 18, 2009

Return - part 5

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
she let him take her… she knew how coward she was…Part 4

He was driving towards the hill. From the cliff one could see the whole town with green forest and patches of lakes that dotted their beautiful town. It was her favourite spot, the cliff, she had yearned to visit it but not now. But suddenly, the idea of CLIFF sent terror down her throat.

“Piyu” came a voice from the driving seat and she was startled. It was a soft voice, a brotherly one, one she always wanted to hear. He had never called her that way. He never called her Piyu. His voice suddenly seemed sweet and she wanted him to speak more. But at once the thought repulsed. Perhaps it was just her imagination, she always wanted a big brother. This can’t be real, is it ?

She realised they had reached the cliff. He pulled her out from the passenger seat. They reached the cliff end. “I don’t want to die”, she muttered the broken words trembling, but too low for him to hear. “What ?” he said. “Sit down here. I’ll get some ice-creams for us. Which flavour you’ll have, Chocolate ?” he asked. His tone sounded…different than usual. Did they sound like…happy ?

Bingo! she would have answered him but instead she reversed just to contradict him “Strawberry” she muttered. He said something in low which she caught, she was being cautious, I don’t even know what you like! She regretted at once. What’s happening ? she was confused…is this real ?

He was back with the ice creams. He had chocolate for himself and she cursed herself for her unwanted stupidity. There was a silence for few seconds. They watched the town with wonder, how beautiful it looked. She felt the urge to see the lakes at once. She was trying to distract herself from him.

“Piyu, I am sorry” he said. She looked at him. His ice cream was almost finished. He is fast like always, she thought. His was looking away from her. His voice sounded sad but warm and she suddenly felt like he appeared to her as her dada. But the word dada wasn’t even remotely associated to him, He hates you and you too hate him, you remember ? her mind snapped again. Err…she cried under breath unknowing if it was to him or her mind…

“Piyu, I want to confess…”, he continued in his warm voice. She felt the ice cream melting down her hand, but she let it. He was still looking away.


To be continued…

P.S. Tomorrow I’ll post the last part.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Return – part 4

He smiled and she shuddered. It was his The peculiar cruel smile, lips curled from his right reaching his ears…He hasn’t changed, her heart started beating faster. Part 3
The house looked freshly arranged, perhaps for her visit. She felt presence of a strange aura in the house, not exactly good but somewhat uncomfortable. Was it their parents or her brother, she couldn't figure. Perhaps it was just the time, the gap, that she was away. Things change over time and then we feel strange about them when they turn out different from our picture in mind, she tried to reason.

When she came out of her bedroom, she was drawn to the kitchen. “Gaajar halwaa!!” she exclaimed and almost hopped to kitchen. “Thanks mommy…” she smiled ear to ear. After a long and exotic lunch she was ready to threw herself on bed. After such a long time did she got to taste home food, prepared by her mother. Her brother was missing at lunch and she was thankful to God for that. Yesterday night, she had heard the arguments even tough they were meant to be suppressed. Something that bothered was the thing he'd carried as he 'd storm out of the house, bottle of alcohol.

“Priyanka, c’mon lets go for a drive”, she herd a voice from behind. She involuntarily turned with shock and regretted at once, that saying no would have been easy without facing. But there she stood, frozen facing  him. Nikhil pulled her by her hand and she didn’t protest. How would she ? What will he do ? Will he take her to his friends and insult her or make her drink alcohol or take her to cliff and threaten her to push her if she doesn’t leave them ?

There were more possibilities but she dared not to think of them. “You know Priyanka, I HATE YOU”, the words played in the background…but she let him take her… she knew how coward she was.

P.S. Just 2 more to go....

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Return – part 3

“Piyu, your dada will pick you up” Her mother had said. The words kept growling in her mind with different monstrous effects. “Dada? Step-brother? Nikhil?” she babbled in her sleep. She was having a nightmare. Part 2

The train stopped and she got down with her luggage. She was happy and nervous at the same time “Nikhil” the name knocked in her mind. She couldn't recall when did she had called him dada, a big brother. Her eyes searched frantically on the station, still hoping that he doesn't turn up. But she saw him standing, relaxed, leaning at the wall, at the exit. She had never seen him in person in few years, just some family pics that her mother had shown. He was staring at her. As soon as their eyes met, he started towards her. She dropped her gaze, her heart pounding. “Nikhil” the fear again knocked her.

He was wearing a rugged jeans and T-shirt. There was a light smile on his face. He hugged her but she stood straight and rigid.

“How are you, Priyanka ?” she noticed that his voice was now solid. She remembered his childhood wicked laugh, the brittle voice then, yet a damaging one. “Huh ?” he snapped. “Huh…ya…fine”, she managed to whisper. He smiled again, just lightly. He picked her bag and started walking towards the exit. She followed him.

His chubby face was now grown into a lean manly face, she noticed. The stubble made him fairly attractive. But there was a sadness on his face. The dark circles under his eyes talked about something. She wasn’t sure if it was sadness or something else, the darkness, the cruelty. He knew she was studying him in quick glances from the corner of her eyes. He smiled and she shuddered. It was his The peculiar cruel smile, lips curled from his right reaching his ears…

He hasn’t changed, her heart started beating faster.

To be continued...

Return – part 2

Continued from here

In one month, she would complete her higher secondary. She was very happy. From past several years, she was at the boarding school and what the most made her happy was thinking of the vacation. She yearned to return to home, her home, meet parents and other friends. But it always turned the other way. Her parents always declined her this wish and insisted on them visiting her. She had to content herself with just that.

As the years grew her eagerness had increased. And this time made it clear that she would visit them no matter whether they want it or not. And they had agreed, and she was now counting the days down. 

But every time she thought of her return, one thing always ruined the beautiful time she had planned in her mind. Her brother. She had learnt that he was his step brother. Their parents were divorced before remarrying. He would be big now. What will I say to him ? Will he talk to me or harm me ? She hadn’t talked to him all these years and had decided that she would maintain it on her visit unless the situation inevitably demands. “You know Priyanka, (a pause) I hate you…” his words played on her mind and she shivered for a second. He had always been malevolent to her and had always reminded that he can only hate her. They say that time heals the wound, but she knew that it has deepened in her case. How will she face him ?

That day she she had her last exam paper which had gone well. She had to leave the same weekend. She had already bought the train tickets in advance. In the evening, she got call from her parents. They were happy that she would finally come back. Though they were the ones who had stopped her to visit them every vacation. She had always wanted to, this amused her but she discarded the thought. She would be at home and that’s what matters the most. She was happy. But the last words of her mom made her jump, shudder.

“Piyu, your dada will pick you up” Her mother had said. The words kept growling in her mind with different monstrous effects. “Dada? Step-brother? Nikhil?” she babbled in her sleep. She was having a nightmare.

To be continued...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Return – part 1

She was playing with her dolls. Their small dresses, comb, earrings were lying on the ground. “Are you hungry ? wait baby, I have food for you” she was talking to them in a motherly tone that her mommy used for her. Being just 4, the dolls were everything for her.

He came and sat beside her. She looked at him. “Will you play with me, dada* ?” she asked him with an increased enthusiasm. “See, I am feeding Dimple” she said. He snickered which took her aback.

“Dimple, huh ?”, he smiled, right end of his lips curved to his ears. He took the doll and twisted so badly that the neck and torso were ripped apart.

Her eyes widened and face twisted and she began sobbing, “Dada* You broke my doll. I will not talk to you.”

He threw a wild smile, as if her sobbing gave him a pleasure and also an encouragement. “You know how I did it ?” He picked her other doll, caressed her hair and twisted her to break her too. This made her break into bigger cry. Her hands tried to reach him to beat him but he shoved her away. She fell down. “You killed my Simple too.I will tell mummy. I will ask her to beat you”. 

He moved closer, narrowed eyes showing a cruel look, “You know Priyanka, I hate you…”He laughed loudly and watched her running in small steps to the kitchen.


To be continued…

* Dada – Big brother

Monday, December 14, 2009

Retirement wish

There are few pics which makes me think of retirement, one of them is this one. I would love to spend my last stint in some place like this or should it be the alps ?

How about you ?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Dive down ?

Saw this ? Now imagine this -

You are taken to the top of the hill (you can see some crowd near the parasail), put into a really big ball, and the ball is pushed down, you come tumbling, head up head down…that’s Zorbing


You are taken to the top of the hill, you sit in the parasail, you know now that you have to dive down…that’s Paragliding

Well, I did nothing of this. I just enjoyed it from far, you know clicking pictures.

Just from the top to down paragliding was 600 bucks and 1500 bucks for a hour long drive, or sail. Actually I really wanted to do the paragliding stuff, to be precise, the hour long drive (huh). We all thought that we should keep the activities for the last day. But later, I slept over and missed all of it.

But even now when I think of it, I can’t imagine myself diving from that height (though there’s a driver to your back who actually directs the parasail). I am terrified of HEIGHT (the steep ones).


You too ?

Why is that

Sometimes you behave so weirdly that you regret and keep cursing yourself. It happens with me all the time.

Yesterday, I left office pretty late, it was almost 8 pm (a call with Front office consultant, you know she keeps talking, almost loudly, sometimes I hold the receiver inches away from my ears,still i could hear her. I can’t help, she repeats everything at least 2-3 times).

It’s a nuisance to get an auto to station then. But yesterday, an auto stopped, one person got down leaving a space for one. So I got in (there’s a sharing auto system here). When we reached the station, I offered the standard Rs.5 amount to the autowalla. He just denied saying it’s ok (I mean will he charge the earlier passenger for it ?) and then the passenger too joined his cult. I was firm that they should take the money, but they kept denying. I don’t know what happened but I got really pissed off. I kind of grunted and left abruptly. When I was a few steps farther, I realised that it wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I should to the least say “thanks”. That was enough to disturb me for some time, then I took out my book.

It’s true that however claim we make that we know ourselves, we are sometime taken to surprise by our own self.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Stolen Moments : All I want – Part 3

Part 1

“My miss brave” he chuckled, that made her laugh too. They stood hugging for some time just smiling, she acknowledging his presence and he hers. She stroked his back and they kissed. They remained silent for some time, just cuddling. Continued from here – Part 2

Then he stood up as if he remembered something suddenly. “Hey, I forgot, I went to collect some dry sticks for fire.”

“Did you ? I didn’t even ask how I came here”

“Oh ya!” he chuckled “I tend to forget in your presence” “So do I” she was blushing, but the darkness hid it.

“When we returning from Manali, I noted this place. I found it awesome to be alone here at night with you. I made up my mind”. He looked at her. She was looking at him in admiration.

He continued, pleased. “Then in the night you slept. I carried you asleep”

“All this way?” she blurted and then catching herself.

He babbled something, chuckling and then said “No sweetheart, just till the car. And then I droved here. There’s our car” He pointed to something, but she could hardly see anything in the darkness.

He continued “Then I carried you here. I thought it would be great to have a fire. Romantic, isn’t it ? I thought I wouldn’t go much far just few feet away. And I know how you sleep, like a female Kumbhakaran” He laughed. She made a face and pinched his cheeks, giggling.

Then a bewildered expression came to his face. “And as I strode a little away, you were gone. Do you know  how I was afraid ?” She could see his excited and troubled eyes. “He loves me so much” she thought, pleased.

“I know how clumsy you are. I feared you might run like crazy or might fall in the river” he said. This she hadn’t expected. “Idiot” she thought. He saw her changed expression and caught himself. 
“I mean I can’t see you in trouble. I love you so much.” she looked pleased and happy by his assurance.

The river looked more peaceful than hostile now and the trees taller like a perfect background plot.

“And then I found you here, on the verge of tears” he cuddled his hands around her.

“You know what ?” he asked with a loving face. “What ?” she thought she would return his “I love you too.”

“I was watching you. You were so afraid, wobbling, my miss brave” he was laughing loudly holding his stomach. “Idiot” she chuckled and started hitting him that made him laugh harder.

“Helloooo. Laughing to yourself ?…….Shreyaaa ?????”, she grabbed herself. She was at her hotel room, at the window. It was moonlit and scenic. “It was a dream then…” she said under her breath, sad. She glanced at him. He was on the bed with the laptop, like he usually is.

“When will you get time from your work ?” There was no expression on his face. He worked undisturbed, he didn't hear her, he never heard anyone when he worked.

The moonlit meadow looked beautiful. The river growled. The trees looked inviting “All I want is…” she uttered with moist eyes, closed them. She could hear the hounds...

*** The End ***

Stolen Moments : All I want – Part 2

But she knew she wasn’t fine. Her heart was heavy, chocked, and any moment she would burst out. She was still gaping at the growling water.

“How I had the dream to stroke my hands and to swing legs in these mountain waters, but it was all fake, they are just meant to be that way, just to watch. Nobody could, they are too chilling”. She was surprised at her thoughts.

“Am I afraid or loving this chill ? And where is Rahul?”  “It’s just our first honeymoon and where this guy left me ?” “How beautiful it would have been if he were here”. She smiled and caught herself. Dreamy! Rahul always complained. Even in this hostile time, she was dreaming.

She could the hounds again. “Will they come here smelling human ?” Now she sensed trouble. A chill got down her spine and a current passed through her body.

“Rahul Rahul” she whispered as if he could hear. Her eyes were wet and her body froze as she heard some movement behind. She held her breath. This is it, she thought. “Rahul” she whispered.

“Boo” she jumped, yelled but all that came out was a sore dry voice. She turned, her eyes wide, with anger and relief. He laughed. She threw some blows to him that made him laugh harder. “My miss brave” he chuckled, that made her laugh too. They stood hugging for some time just smiling, she acknowledging his presence and he hers and they kissed. They remained silent for some time, just cuddling.

To be Continued...

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Stolen Moments : All I want – Part 1

It was cold. She realised she was alone in the dark, vulnerable, in the forest. She felt a chill down her throat. She wrapped her hands around herself. She looked at the winter coat she wore, trying to recall when she stepped in the dark but she had no memory of it. All she could recall was her going to bed.

There was no light lit anywhere around and the place seemed far from where they had stopped. She tried to work her mind but again last she could recall was her going to bed. Then she gave up.

She had to, since a panic impinged her. She could hear the hounds. She looked at the trees, tall poplar with thin branches no longer than a feet or two. “Hell! I can’t even climb those if the hounds come” “Hell! I haven't climbed a tree before”.

She wobbled around, unable to decide what to do. She started walking, eyes wide trying to grab any sound, picking up speed. The river flowed parallel. She felt the urge to cross. “What was across the river ?” “Don’t ever try to get into these rivers. They are melting ice. You step in it, and if you fall, within no time you would be frozen. And if there’s no one around, then God help!”, she had heard the instruction. She gawked at the river. It was a growling, showing it’s power. “Don’t dare!” it shouted.

She stepped back, thought she would cry now. “Am I now crying ? I am not. Any normal woman would. I am in this jungle, alone, away from my husband, I could hear the hounds, and I am fine ? I bet this is a dream. Else it couldn’t be true. It’s too true to be true. Does that make sense ?”

To be Continued…


Saturday, December 05, 2009

Whatta life


I took this pic when I travelled to Dabhol. Dabhol is the place where Enron plant is set up. Unfortunately we didnt had time to visit it.

One of my friend commented "Whatta life!". Truely, what a life, kids were fishing, boating, playing at the banks. The sea seemed vast. Houses were adjoinding the waters and the palms streching towards water looked very beautiful.

My camera was taking shots one after another. And when these kids saw they smiled so cheerfully. When we reached the wharf, their father had joined them.

After a long time, I sat in a ferry and I was happy. Sometimes small things make us so happy!!

Whatta Life was one thought, what's yours ?

Gimme a break…

Once a year, everyone is unhappy. When ? The appraisal time. Those who work would understand. This year was no different. The recession, budget, blah blah, they have enough reasons to say no. 

Promoted or not, everyone’s dissatisfied. Why ? the increment is nothing but peanuts, as usual.

The recession is fading and market is opening up. People are looking out.

But you know, it’s a cycle, just like what we have Project Life cycle, as usual.

Dissatisfied ? –> Resign –> Join another company –> again dissatisfied –>

This goes on, on and on…