Return – part 6
“I always troubled you. I was crazy, hot bloodied and angry”
Angry ? she asked in her mind. “Yes angry” he continued as if he’d heard her. “For me, the world was not right then. They fought every day. (pause) Mom and dad. They fought… when I returned from school. They fought while dining. They fought all night. You were too small to notice”, the sadness in him was prominent.
“I was small. It wasn’t the way I wanted. The other kids were so happy. Their parents always visited the school meetings, functions. All what I got was blatant no. They never saw what I felt, what I was going through. Their fights was heartbreaking, painful for me. It wasn’t like that before. My mom was very calm, somewhat submissive. She endured my father’s casteless ire. But she, I mean your mom, wasn’t that way, she kept fighting.” he paused.
“I lost interest in everything, one after another. Nothing made me happy, but only sad. I lost friends, I lost studies, everything. But there was one thing that made me happy” Then he looked at her, with apologetic eyes. His face was filled with pain.
“Stop. Just forget everything” she wanted to say. But nothing came from her mouth. But probably he read it on her face. “I have to say this” he looked away, again at the distant lakes. “You. I troubled you. Harmed you, insulted you, in home, in public. The cry on your face somehow gave me a odd pleasure. I was successful in implanting the fear in you for lifetime…But piyu, I was young then”. She sighed.
“Till today they fight the same. You don’t know (a pause) I can hear the threats, the accusations every night. Just for you, just for you, they have made peace, but that’s for sometime. They would start again” She remembered the strange aura the home reflected, now she knew why. It wasn’t the truth, it was a fake home, a home built hastily to comfort her to deceive her from reality. Now she knew why she wasn’t welcomed to come back every vacation.
His voice brought her back. “Till you were here, I avenged, by troubling you. But when they sent you to Hostel fearing that I would spoil you, it was then I realised how much I missed you. There was already a void in my life which grew after you left me. I was very lonely. I am very lonely.”
He looked at her. She had a smile on her face. He returned a smile, the same, half-smile, right lips twisted up. But it looked like a happy smile, no more threatening. She laughed over nothing. By now all her fear was gone. His face was now happy. He knew he was forgiven.
He then shoved something at her. It was a doll. “You can give her a name, piyu” She giggled. She raised her index finger with a inquisitive look. He nodded. She tried to hold the torso trying to make sure she doesn't fall her ice cream and twisted the neck. It broke in two pieces. “Hmm…ya it’s fun. There is a reason why you did that to my dolls. Interesting!” They laughed together.
She raised again her finger again. He smiled as he nodded, with an surprising look. She shoved the ice cream to his face. “A sweet revenge…for all those wild things” she chuckled.
“Errr…that strawberry flavour sucks…” he complained wiping his face.
“Ya, you brought this to me. Don’t you know I like chocolate ? ” she chuckled.
“What is the evening plan”. “Why didn’t you call me ?” “I want to know everything, every detail” She had so many questions. He laughed at her sudden burst. “I thought you can only cry”, he chuckled. “Shut up!”
They talked and talked as peace was restored and they forgot that there was once any bitterness between them…She had truly returned, to her dada, to her big brother.