Week by week, we do live like a programmed being hardly doing anything different from our daily ritual. Many a time I sit and think, Am I satisfied? And for 99% times, it replies No. What makes me not fully satisfied? Is there a feeling, in reality, when one can feel fully satisfied? I don’t know if we have lost the meaning of true contentment or we ever understood it. I really don’t know.
If I look back at my schedule a few weeks ago I had so many things on my plate and planning these had become burdensome. I had the plans but still looking at the list made me loose time just thinking about the long list. I have to do this; I have to do that…such a long list. Then I think and ask Why do I am running so fast? Why do I have run after things? I need to go slow. Then I slow down and days go by. Then again one evening, I sit and ponder and see how days few by and that time is lost. There’s no thrill or any excitement in life.
I think that we all are different and born with different wished and different purposes. Each of us wants something and the most difficult is to identify that something. We have so many expectations from ourselves, in this world. We always want to see ourselves grow and move ahead. A stagnancy or even a slowdown makes us restless. I realise this and ask myself, Why do I have to be so hard on myself? When I ask this question to myself, I know that I know, I don’t have to be. But then even slowing down doesn't give contentment in long run.
It’s a difficult question for sure, with different answers for different people, in different situation and at different points of life. I don’t know if there is an exact answer or it’s quest for Life. As of now, I have decided I need to find the right balance for right now.
P.S. This post is more of questions than answers. I would like to hear your comments and your thoughts about Life and how do you set the balance. Or do you just go with the flow? Have you ever felt a deep satisfaction, ever?