Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The sad news

Yesterday my neighbour came to our house with a news that made me burn under my skin. A relative of hers who live in the society next to ours ended her life drinking phenyl.

It was 14th Feb this year, Valentine’s day that they registered their love into marriage. She hadn’t even completed one year. It’s was such an acidic news that we all were rocked. The girl was just 25-27 years old and earning. It’s said that she had problems with her mother-in-law. And this was the second time she attempted suicide. The phenyl turned her whole body black.

What moved me the most is that in spite being educated, she considered the option of ending life than thinking of any other possibility. There might be some big problems she might be facing that we can’t imagine, but still, I would never understand the decision of the victims of killing themselves.

She could have returned to her parent’s place. But I have even heard about parents who are not willing accept divorced daughters back to family, mostly in case of love marriages.

Even the husband is partly to be convicted, ethically. It’s the responsibility of the husband too to protect his wife.

And the victim herself is also to be held guilty. There are always more than one options other than ending life. But accepting the travail of the depressed and harassed victim, it’s also the moral responsibility of the parents or friends to show her the positive light to life.

Once I overheard my mother, who was telling my neighbouring aunty about some lady whom she met in the market. She had a black eye. When asked she told it was just an accident. My mom was saying that it wasn't the first time and everyone knows about how bad her husband and in-laws beat her, and even her parents knows it.

I have come to a conclusion that our society is just producing degree certificate holders, the numbers increasing rapidly. And the truth is that only few of these are really getting cultured.

12 comments:

  1. This is so sad :( RIP. May the family find the courage and strength to pull through this.

    The problem is that in society (a lot of guys will roll their eyes at this) men try to dominate. Instead of facing anything like this it is a better for a girl to stay unmarried than marry someone abusive. But our society tends to pass unwanted remarks over the girl. They start to assassinate the girl's character and in the process her family as well.

    In this case you mentioned the girl was very well educated as well. Education shouldn't limit her options, but instead she was independent and capable of leading her own life! I think fear of society might have led her to take such a drastic step. As you mentioned every family should reassure their daughter that they will be there for the daughter no matter what. That she doesn't have to tolerate abuse.

    I won't be surprised if the whole conflict had to do with money.

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  2. Hey this is my first time here and I must say I'm impressed by your thoughts.

    Starting with the fact that you blamed the victim for giving up her life and not considering any other options. Usually people just thrash the in-laws and put the blame on them.

    Is love so blind that these people can't even look a year ahead of them?

    Is suicide the answer to every insoluble question?


    Anyways thanx for visiting my blog and commenting. Now i'l go on and read more of your stuff...

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  3. Its sad but the bare truth is that it happens...

    Now Blaming a "Male Dominated Society" wont help, given in this case itself the girl was harassed by her motherinlaw. Behind every such heinous act the fire is always fueled by a woman. There goes a saying in hindi "Aurat hi aurat ki sabse bari shatru hain", I was whipped by my hindi teacher for commenting this the look around you it is a naked fact.

    Now coming to the next question...has education has anything to do with the maturity of minds...No...it isnt....they loved and sealed it on Valentine's Day...why was not any other day..or they just want to make an important event of their lives as a token of romantic symbolism.....

    Money in these cases plays an important role..and whether it is a man or woman both are guilty

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  4. I acknowledge the fault is not entirely on part "male dominated society" and there is no fuel without fire. It works both ways.

    But do women deserve to get abused?

    They might be responsible for the verbal fire but surely they don't deserve to pay a heavy price in the form of physical abuse.

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  5. Wait. Behind every heinous act? I disagree there.

    Well I never understood the reason mother-in-law's in some cases are responsible for the abuse. One would think a woman would understand another woman.

    I know someone that was abused by her mother-in-law, as well as her husband (he abused her since she wouldn't listen to his mother). The lady still lives with them. She is verbally responsible, but she was kicked out of the house while she was 7 months pregnant in the middle of the night.

    All due to the reason she protested to her husband marrying someone else. At present she lives with her husband and children, as well as her in-laws. The in-laws and husband blackmail her daily that they will take the children away. It wasn't a love marriage in this case.

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  6. You know we can't blame MAN or WOMAN. I think its the character, the devilish thinking that could make a human go savage. Don;t they have conscience ? let me tell you, I missed in the post, the parents beat the husband who was then acting incoherent...I really don't know who's to be blamed here...really sad..

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  7. That's very true. Conscience, character, values and choices I think there are a lot of factors involved. Technically for us girls it's easier to put the whole blame on male dominated society, while men think women are responsible for a lot of things. You are right though we can't just decide one or the other is responsible.

    Each of us is responsible ourselves to the way we react to a situation.

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  8. ya true mia...thanks for sharing your views.

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  9. really sad yar :(
    Its hard to believe that educated people are doing such things. i have hope with our generation.only time will tell

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  10. It's all about mentality & character. I dont know if that's going to improve with time or...

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