Thursday, May 21, 2009

Someone's following her

It wasn't easy to walk down to the toilet tent in the chilling cold night. She thought of waking her tent partner. But the partner seemed to be fast asleep buried in the sleeping bag. She decided she will go alone.

She planned visually an optimized path that she would take. Picking up the torch, she unzipped the tent entry. She realized her hands were shivering. A chilling breeze hit her face as she moved out. She was terrified by the pitch dark night that surrounded her.

Go ahead Riya, she told herself. gathering all the strength, she flashed the light around and located the toilet tent and started walking.

She was returning back and till now everything was fine. The cold was unbearable, the sound of the river was distinct. Suddenly a cold breeze past her. She heard a sound, a whisper. She discarded it thinking it was just the fear of the mind that was creating the unreal. But she heard it again, "Can I come with you ?" a whisper close enough to her ears. Her torch fell down flashing the ground muddied by the rain. The treacherous voice kept repeating, as if waiting for an answer from her. Her heart was pounding, her body frozen, as if buried in the ground, her throat was dry.

Thinking she has to get to the tent fast, she picked up the torch. She wanted to see who it was, but feared to see what she couldn't handle. She cursed herself for trying to be too courageous. She was breathing hard. She swiftly turned around flashing the light. But the voice came out from nowhere. Something unknown was following her.

Now she was scared to death and started running every which way, crying. But the voice followed her "Can I come?". Realizing that she is lost she stood, now crying hard. She felt a touch on her shoulders. She screamed. She saw few lights turning on, but they grew blurred, as she fainted...

Written for Three Words Wednesday : Prompt - Efficient Optimize Treacherous. used later two in the post.


  1. That's why I no longer camp :)

  2. really nice suspense in this one. Great detail, creepy. I like it.

  3. i am reading ur posts through e-mail subscription and i really like the way u condense thoughts....make me read u more!

    Keep visit !


  4. very suspenseful and frightening! the last paragraphs' first line tho sounded a bit out of place, like the style was too casual. it was a very entertaining read! -Meg

  5. Actually I had camped recently in the Himalayas. And me and my tent partner were sleepless. In the middle of the night, she wanted to visit the toilet. Reluctantly, we stepped out. It was cold. And I was hell scared. But actually there was nothing to be scared about, I guess there are no ghosts in the faraway mountains. It's our mind that plays games.

    haha...Its our mind that tricks us. Do you agree?

    Thanks ThomG for appreciatng. And thanks to you for the 3WW prompts. Your prompts are the fuel for my imagination.

    Next ? A Campfire ?

    Thanks for appreciating. Those encouraging words are really a booster for mind. Keep reading. Hopefully I could deliver more writings that you'll like.

    Thanks for your comments. Keep reading!!


Thank you for visiting and commenting :)