Thursday, January 08, 2009

I am smiling

When we meet someone, we take a first look at the person, we make a perception.

He smiled and talked to me, he’s very friendly person. He just said hi, didn’t smiled , must be an arrogant person.

Then we talk to them, our perceptions change sometimes they get stronger.

This has happened to me a lot of times, but most of the time, a victim.

That day my neighbor came to me and asked if I know “Shriya Dhamnaskar”, my dad’s friends daughter. I recognized from the surname.

I said “yes, I do”. “Then why didn’t you smile when she smiled at you” she asked. “Off course I would, if I meet her”. “She saw you yesterday and smiled and was expecting a smile in return. But you just walked off. She told me today and thinks that you are too arrogant.” she added. I was shocked. “But I didn’t see her. Tell her this. I didn’t do it intentionally.” I replied and realized that the damage was done. But maybe she would understand.

This was not the last incident happened to me and I feel bad when I think how many people share the same opinion that I am arrogant.

The next incident alarmed me. I need to do something. I was going downstairs with my friend. My friend suddenly asked “Do you talk to him?”. I said “Who ?”

“Demetriks, he just passed us.” she said. “No, but why ?”. “Coz he just smiled at you. I looked at you and you didn’t.” she replied. “What ? He smiled ? But when I saw him he was looking somewhere else. So I just kept walking looking away !”. Not again, I said to myself. And trust me, that guy didn’t ever smiled at me after that. What the hell !! What’s wrong with me!! Or it’s just the wrong timing !! Or I have to look at this seriously !! I don’t know and I don’t understand what can be done for this! My mind was flooded with questions and embarrassment.

Later after few months, one day while having coffee with my friend, she told me that my first impression on her was not good. “You looked arrogant. But now after spending time with you, I don’t think that way. “ I felt better but couldn’t stop thinking why was the first feeling negative. I might not have interacted with all the people. Many might be still thinking the same. No, I don’t want it that way.

Most of the people are judgmental. And most often, people misunderstand reserved people are arrogant.

Everyone can’t be same. Some are open and expressive but some could be shy. Some could be reserved. But until you interact with them, how can one decide the actual inner soul behind the face.

This has always been a quest for me which I am still trying to solve. But I sometimes I laugh to myself when I hear these stories from my friends.

Maybe someone tell me. But now I swear, if I see a familiar face approaching, I keep looking until the person looks at me. And I don’t forget to smile, whether or not I get in return.

Like the advice from Krishna in Geeta, “कर्म करो, फल की आशा मत करो”


  1. Wow! You are exactly like me! I NEVER ever catch anyone smiling either, but if I do, then I do smile in return. If I don't notice then they assume I'm rude & arrogant & get the impression that I think I'm too cool for everyone (NOT true!). Its funny and interesting how people naturally hate you, if you don't return a smile or something.

    I don't know. Sometimes we are quite lost in our thoughts while we are aware of our surroundings it's hard to catch every little detail when you are worried about something right? Also, as you said some of us can be very shy!
    I like the last sentence how you said "And I don't forget to smile, whether or not I get in return" - Sweet! I'm going to start doing that now with anyone familiar :-)

    Most desis here never seem to smile. They always have this blank look.


  2. @Mia
    So here too we sail in the same boat...I still practise my resolution. Yea, Desis in Videsh look more stranger than the locals there. As if what are these desis doing here, funny huh. But some are good and start an interaction.

    Good to hear your thoughts!


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